Seriously, stop telling me what to do!!!!

Being a widow sucks eggs. Want to know why? Well in my humble opinion it is because certain family members think that they know what is best for me and my family ALL the time. I mean really, STOP PUSHING YOUR AGENDA ON ME! I know that Julia means well. I do. I know that she is trying to help by looking for houses to buy. Even though I have repeatedly told her I can't afford to buy a house. I will have $10,000 to start over completely with. That has to pay for moving all my belongings to another state. It has to pay for a place to stay while I locate a house to rent. It has to cover the first/last/deposit on the new place. And let me tell you when you have been crapped all over for 13 years and your credit turned to mush, banks are not going to lend me $100,000 to buy a house.

Where is all of this coming from? Well, Julia really hurt me tonight. She made me angry to the point where I don't want to be in the room with her now. She found a mobile home for sale for $18,000. Not in the area I want to live in, but that isn't the point. If I could buy a house for $18,000 I wouldn't care what area it is in. What hurt was her comment of "I could just put that on my credit card and buy it." Good for you. Glad you can go out and spend $18K on a house and rub it in my face. So happy that you have it all figured out. Down to the payment I would make if I put just $2000 down on the place.

When I tell her about the credit situation thanks to her wonderful brother, she proceeds to tell me that a bank would probably work with me if I had a co-signer. Well whoop-de-da. My parents aren't co-signing with anybody on anything. I sure as hell am not asking my friends to co-sign on a house with me. And the more I tried to tell her to just drop it and that I can only do what I can do, the more she was going "Yeah, but...".

I finally lost it. I hollered. I screamed. I told her that her brother had screwed me over royally for 13 years and now I have to work with what I have. I WILL make it for me and the kids. I WILL do what I have to to provide for them. But I WILL NOT keep being told what I should be doing.

If I could buy a house opposed to renting I would. God knows I wish I could afford to outright buy a home. That is a dream I have had for my kids since I had MacKenzie. Instead of buying a home when we had the money to, Donnie pissed it away on a scatter brained logging business venture. Oh well. It's all in the past. I have to dwell on the future and what I have to do for my kids now. Which is get them settled. Get them going in a normal pattern again. God it breaks my heart that I can't buy a house. That I can't give my kids all the things they see their friends have. I don't need anyone rubbing it in my face that they can charge $18,000 to a credit card without blinking.

Why is it that people always think that they know everything?